Torn: I Dont Need You, But I Want You Read online

  Not wasting another minute, I head straight over to Nae’s place; she’d better not be on her bullshit. I want answers so bad it’s got my shit rock hard. “This is going to be good,” I say to myself as I pull up to the house at the same time Nae does.

  “I am not in any mood for your shit, Nard!” she spits.

  “Nae, I’m sorry,” I say, grabbing her attention.”

  “You’re right; you are sorry! All of you no-good birth defects are,” she taunts.

  “I didn’t come here to fight with you, Nae. I believe you didn’t have anything to do with any of this. You got caught out there because of your relationship to Tae.”

  “Now you want to believe someone? You’re full of shit!”

  “Can we talk inside, please?” I question.

  Once inside, Nae and I put all our cards on the table, and she confirms what my gut has been telling me. She was with Sharon the night before or a couple of nights prior to the accident. She said she went running to Tae’s place after I upset her when she had her temper tantrum and I was forced to cuff her ass to teach her a lesson.

  ‘Damn, I thought I would escape this conversation without the water works,’ I think.

  “Nard, thank you for listening. I was really second-guessing myself, everything, and everybody!” she cries.

  “No need to thank me, Nae. It’s my job and D is my boy. I will personally make sure that bitch pays for what she did!” I angrily reply.

  “You look tense, Nard. Come over here and let me unclog that pipe,” she says, licking her lips.

  My pants are now at my ankles. I have no clue when this freak got them down. She’s kissing the head of my dick, teasing me real good, getting him to stand at full attention. Shit, this feel so fucking good, the way her tongue’s caressing the underside of my dick! Nae knows how to give head like no other and will have a brother’s legs buckling in a matter of minutes. She knows how to make it sloppy, so when she’s sucking up and down on the shaft, it mimics the thrusting motion of pussy walls. I don’t know what she is doing to me. All I know is this shit feels too good!

  “You like that, daddy?” she asks, staring into my eyes.

  That’s it! I can’t hold back any longer. That did it! I can’t even respond verbally. My seed answers her for me and plants themselves one-by-one, securely down her throat.

  Chapter Sixty-Five ~ Latavia Is Moving On

  You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past.

  You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it.

  You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time,

  or any of your space.

  — Johnny Cash

  

  Just when I think things can’t get any worse, it does just that. “How long did Darnell and Nae think they would be able to keep this from me?” I cry.

  She was pregnant by him, walking around pretending to be my friend, all while having an affair with Darnell. I don’t even know who Darnell is anymore. He acted as if he hated the sight of Nae, when in actuality he was messing with her funky butt, going half on a baby. They can have one another! All of this just confirms over and over like I said before: The life I tried to build here with the two of them no longer exists. In fact, the way things look, it never did.

  I have to get as far away from these fake, backstabbing people as I possibly can. Right now, all I need to do is talk to BK so we can work things out; but, first, I’m going up to that hospital to give Darnell a piece of my mind. Coma or no coma, I will let him know exactly how I feel and what I think of him before I leave here for good. Wait a minute, how the heck am I going to get anywhere? None of our cars are here; hopefully mine is still at Elite Too. I’ll call a taxi to take me up there after I find my spare key.

  All of this is just so heartbreaking, and now BK’s obsessed, Looney-Tune wife wants to get in the mix of things. Her best bet is to go back to wherever she came from. It is clear as day he wants nothing to do with her. She is the least of my worries. I think she went a little overboard sleeping with Nae and Nard. They can add Darnell to the mix and become one big happy, dysfunctional family for all I care.

  I am dreading this taxi ride, but hopefully my car is there and I can be on my way. I have no idea where I’m going, but I refuse to stay another night in that house. ‘Hopefully, I will be able to find or get in touch with BK,’ I think, staring out of the car window.

  “Excuse me, sir, change of plans. Would you please follow that beige Yukon? I’ll pay whatever the cost is.”

  Somebody must love me! What a freaking coincidence it is that I am staring out the window thinking about BK and he drives alongside of the taxi I’m in.

  “No problem, ma’am. We’re on your dime,” the driver replies.

  If BK really wants to avoid me, he probably should have stayed in Hartford, or better yet, got a different car. We have been following him for the last thirty minutes, and we are now pulling up to a brownstone in the Bronx.

  “Can you sit here for about five minutes? I will be right back.”

  “No problem; the meter is still on.”

  “BK!” I yell, exiting the taxi.

  “Tavia, what are you doing here, and how did you know where to find me?”

  “That’s not important! Why did you change your number on me?”

  “Look, stop following me! I told you I need time to clear my head,” he scolds, returning to his truck and leaving me standing there watching as he pulls off.

  Embarrassed and heartbroken, I return to my awaiting taxi, to pick up where we left off to head to our original destination, down the street from Elite Too. I was relieved to find my car right where I’d left it. I smile as we pulled up.

  “That will be thirty-nine fifty-four,” the driver recites.

  “Thank you and keep the change,” I reply, handing him a fifty-dollar bill before climbing out the car.

  “I missed you, baby,” I voice to my car, putting the key in the ignition. ‘It seems like it’s been months instead of weeks since I’ve been behind the steering wheel of a car,’ I think, shaking my head.

  The drive to the hospital is less than an hour. I literally just drove from one end of the borough to the other, but thank God, I made it here safely.

  “Good evening, I want to know the room Darnell Carter is in,” I ask the receptionist at the visitors’ desk.

  “I’m sorry, ma’am; Darnell Carter is no longer a patient at this hospital,” she informs me.

  “What do you mean, he’s no longer a patient?” I question the bug-eyed lady.

  “Again, I apologize, ma’am—” she says, looking over the rim of her glasses.

  “Mrs. Carter,” I cut her off, correcting her.

  “Again, Mrs. Carter, our records indicate Darnell Carter is no longer a patient here.”

  “So can you tell me where he is? Was he discharged or perhaps he’s at a different hospital? Something?”

  “I do apologize, ma’am—I mean Mrs. Carter, but I am not at liberty to confirm or deny if Mr. Carter’s been admitted to another facility.”

  “Excuse me?” I ask, puzzled. “You can’t confirm or deny? He’s my husband!”

  “I can have a manager or someone speak to you if you’d like.”

  “That would be great,” I say sarcastically.

  This has to be the craziest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Darnell and I are still legally married, and this heifa is trying to throw some HIPPA laws and regulations in my face. I know what she’s doing; I got my CNA attending BOCES Tech while in high school. Just thinking about this is pissing me off even more.

  “Latavia?” a male voice summons.

  “Hey, Officer Martinez. They called you on me?”

  “No! No one called me. I just happened to see you.”

  “Well can you enlighten me on what’s going on and where Darnell is?” I plead.

  “Let’s step outside.”

&nb
sp; Once outside, he informs me that Nard had Darnell moved to Mt. Sinai because he didn’t trust Winthrop and he wasn’t sure who cut the brake line on Nae’s car. Since he is the next of kin, in my absence he was allowed to do so discretely and without a hassle.

  ‘They are clearly thinking too much! Nobody cut Nae’s brakes but karma,’ I think.

  After thanking him, I run to my car, and I am en route to the other hospital like a mad woman. Thank God, it’s only twenty or so minutes away. I want closure and to get this over with as soon as possible.

  Chapter Sixty-Six ~ Darnell Is Heartbroken

  I don’t know why they call it heartbreak.

  It feels like every other part of my body is broken too.

  — Author Unknown

  

  I am unsure if it’s the physical therapy, the therapist, or a mixture of both, but whatever it is, I’m not feeling any of it. The therapist comes off like he has a phobia or disconnect with me. I’m assuming it’s because he’s aware I’m on the force. He’s a little too aggressive with me and the tension in the room is undeniable. Today I will lie here with my eyes shut and pretend to be asleep when they come in to take me down for therapy, which should be any minute now. I need a day off before I snap.

  “Darnell, it’s me, Latavia. I’m not sure if you can hear me or not,” she says between sniffles.

  Instead of greeting her, I decide to continue lying here with my eyes shut to hear what she has to say. ‘She hasn’t been up here to see me this long, so this had better be good,’ I think.

  “I love you with everything in me, Darnell, and I really thought you were different, unlike the rest. I’m sorry you’re in the hospital, but karma put you here, not me. How could you walk around all of these years living a lie, pretending to love me when Nae is who you really desired? I know all about you, Nae, and the baby. Was this some sort of sick joke or something? I hope the both of you had a real god laugh at my expense. Although I am hurt and betrayed, I will not allow the two of you to infringe on my happiness any longer. I am moving away with BK, the real love of my life. I hope you’re happy with Nae, now that I am really out of the picture,” she cries, placing a soft kiss to my forehead before leaving.

  I can’t move or utter a word as she speaks; I am completely frozen and stuck. It feels like I am unconscious or out again as a single tear escapes my eyes. Thank God, I am all right, and not in the same condition I was a month or so ago; that could have taken a brother straight out of here. Nae and the baby are ringing in my head like crazy. What is Latavia talking about and what has Nate’s scandalous ass started now?

  I don’t have the answers for anything right now except for one, and when I find out whoever this BK is, he will regret the day his momma gave birth to him. My vows said until death do we part. Latavia doesn’t realize when she said those vows, she signed a check her ass can’t cash. I’m not going anywhere any time soon and neither is she.

  Chapter Sixty-Seven ~ Sharon Understands

  Recognizing the truth requires selflessness. You have to leave yourself out of it

  so you can find out the way things are in themselves, not the way they look to you or how you feel about them or how you would like them to be.

  — Harry Frankfurt

  

  Braxton has been so good to me these past few days. I don’t know what I would have done had he not been there for me. It’s just a shame it took me finding out what love really is for him to start being supportive of me. Where was that support the twenty or so years we were married? Although I appreciate the return of the Braxton I fell in love with so many moons ago, that was then and this is now. I am in love with Bernard, and hopefully, Braxton understands.

  While we are on the subject, Bernard has yet to return any of my calls or reply to the lengthy apology text I sent him. He needs to understand I was confused back then and only wanted my marriage because it didn’t want me. It was never about the marriage; I realized that once Bernard showed me how I am supposed to be treated.

  I am a soldier and a warrior in God’s army, and I believe in fighting the good fight of faith. I don’t give up; the battle isn’t given to the weak or strong, but to those who endure to the end. My problem was I didn’t realize my marriage had ended and it was time for me to let go. I couldn’t see past the hurt and pain, which is why God sent Bernard my way. Sometimes we hold on to things that God removes out of our lives, but in order for us to be happy, He has to sever the ties. That’s what took place when Braxton left me to pursue Latavia and when Bernard entered my life right on time—just like God. He may not come when or the way you want Him to, but He is always on time and a present help in the time of trouble.

  This whole time I thought this was a fight for my marriage, but it was really a fight for my freedom and happiness.

  “Dear God, it’s me again, your loving daughter, Sharon. I want to thank You for blocking the devil’s plan and sending Bernard to me. I ask for Your forgiveness for pursing something You took away from me so long ago. Thank You for opening my eyes to see the blessing that stands before me. I know Bernard is upset right now because he needs time. I petition You on his behalf, asking you to mend his heart and send him back to my loving arms where he belongs. Amen.”

  Chapter Sixty-Eight ~ Bernard’s Replacement

  Just because you miss someone, it doesn’t mean you should go back to them. Sometimes you have to keep missing them until you wake up in the arms of another and realize you don’t need or miss them in the first place.

  — Author Unknown

  

  I have been spending a lot of time at O’Neill’s since Sharon’s shit was blown up. I guess it goes without saying, these broads are just as sneaky as men, but I think they have one up on us, real talk. That’s why I don’t love them. I just fuck them, one after the other one. It’s better off that way. When you think you’ve found the right one, and you try to show her what a real man is and how she’s supposed to be treated, she turns around and shits on you. No love lost; just another notch under my belt.

  Nae just finished vacuuming up my seed, and I am now in desperate need of a drink and a stogie. I love my cigars as much as I do some warm, wet poontang. ‘All I need at this moment is to slide up in something,’ I think, on the prowl, scanning O’Neill’s for my newest prey. Bingo!

  “You forgot to leave me your name,” I say.

  “Excuse me, who are you and have we met before?” she asks.

  “I apologize. I thought we’d met before, unless it was in my dreams.”

  “You can’t be serious! Did you make that line up all by yourself?”

  “Sure did, and it got your attention. So what’s up?”

  “What do you mean, what’s up?”

  “Are you going to leave with me so I can take care of that gushy stuff, or are you going to continue to sit here by yourself?” I ask, getting up to leave.

  “Hold on; where are we going?”

  ‘Thirsty broads,’ I think, before asking her her name as we’re walking out the door.

  “That’s not important. The only thing I’m concerned about is, do you have a rubber, and can back your words up with your actions and take good care of this sweet gushy stuff as you call it?”

  “The only thing that’s going to be backed up is that ass when I get you to the room,” I reply, opening up the car door so she can get in.

  We pull up to the Comfort Inn in record time, and of course, she slurped on her newfound sucker all the way there.

  “I hope that sweet stuff is as wet and sloppy as your mouth just made my dick,” I say, adjusting myself to head into the spot.

  As soon as we walk in, trouble greets us at the reception desk.

  “Bernard, what are you doing here with her?”

  “Sharon, be on your way, and stay out of mine!” I spit.

  “How could you? You said you loved me!” she cries.

  Before anything
escalates, I usher my ride for the night closer to the desk and ask security to escort the woman who’s harassing me and my guest-for-the-evening away from us, displaying my badge in the interim. Security wastes no time getting Sharon’s pathetic ass away from us. I make sure she is long gone before allowing the receptionist to assign us a room. I don’t want any interruptions tonight. I’m about to make the bed springs sing the song of mercy.

  Chapter Sixty-Nine ~ Braxton’s Payback

  Revenge, the sweetest morsel to the mouth that ever was cooked in hell.

  — Walter Scott

  

  The love I have for Tae is real, but I know she will never understand the fact that I am a man, and I don’t take disrespect and threats lightly. I could let it ride, scoop her up, and be on my way, but the moment dude cocked his nine on me was when he signed his death sentence. This is not something I can just walk away from; my pride won’t allow me to.

  I’ve been sitting in my truck for a minute trying to process all this shit. I hated walking away and shutting Tae down like that, but I don’t need any distractions right now. Bad enough I’m forced to deal with Sharon’s crazy ass and I’m not a hundred-percent positive everything is going to pan out the way I planned it. If it doesn’t, I’m willing to take an “L” if it comes down to it.

  Sharon has been blowing up my phone, texting and calling, claiming she has things to do and she needs to get her car. If it was that serious, she should have climbed her happy ass in a cab and went to get her car. She ain’t fooling nobody but herself. She wants this long dick from the back and is using her car to get me over there. I will get back to her when I am good and ready. Little does she know I want to take her to her car so I can peep out where homeboy rests his head at night. That will put my plan full speed in motion.

  ‘Damn, I must have talked her ass up. Here she goes blowing my damn line up.’

  “What do you want, Sharon?!” I spit into the phone.