Unspoken Words Read online

  Unspoken Words

  Latoya Chandler

  www.urbanbooks.net

  All copyrighted material within is Attributor Protected.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Acknowledgments

  PART ONE - In the Midst of It All . . .

  Prologue

  Chapter One - Let’s Get Married . . .

  Chapter Two - Shaky Grounds . . .

  Chapter Three - The Pain of Being Different . . .

  Chapter Four - The Battle Within . . .

  Chapter Five - I Hate My Life . . .

  Chapter Six - We Fall Down . . .

  Chapter Seven - Lord, I’m Sorry . . .

  Chapter Eight - The Weekend Getaway . . .

  Chapter Nine - A Family that Prays . . .

  PART TWO - In the Midst of It All . . .

  Chapter Ten - It’s a Personal Thing . . .

  Chapter Eleven - He Proposed to Me . . .

  Chapter Twelve - Why Did I Get Married . . . ?

  Chapter Thirteen - My Dad’s Clone . . .

  Chapter Fourteen - Pray Until Something Happens . . .

  Chapter Fifteen - Dream Come True . . .

  Chapter Sixteen - Those Feelings Again . . .

  Chapter Seventeen - Let It Go . . .

  Chapter Eighteen - A Grieving Spirit . . .

  Chapter Nineteen - The Confession . . .

  Chapter Twenty - Nine Months Later . . . It’s a Boy . . .

  Chapter Twenty-one - Yes or No . . .

  Chapter Twenty-two - The Wages of Sin . . .

  Chapter Twenty-three - Enough Is Enough . . .

  Chapter Twenty-four - When It Rains, It Pours . . .

  Chapter Twenty-five - Lord, I Trust You . . .

  Chapter Twenty-six - The Troubles of the Past . . .

  Urban Books, LLC

  300 Farmingdale Road, N.Y.-Route 109

  Farmingdale, NY 11735

  Unspoken Words Copyright © 2020 Latoya Chandler

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced

  in any form or by any means without prior consent

  of the Publisher, except brief quotes used in reviews.

  eISBN 13: 978-1-64556-039-5

  eISBN 10: 1-64556-039-2

  ISBN: 978-1-6455-6038-8

  ISBN 10: 1-64556-038-4

  This is a work of fiction. Any references or similarities to actual events, real people, living or dead, or to real locales are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places, and incidents is entirely coincidental.

  Distributed by Kensington Publishing Corp.

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  Dedication

  I want to dedicate this book to my mother, Michelle Raysor. No matter what she endured in life, her faith, resilience, and fight are what make her the phenomenal woman she is to me, my children, and my siblings. She’s the reason I am the woman that I am today.

  Acknowledgments

  First and foremost, I have to thank God that I am in my right mind and remain in my right mind and can be creative in producing these books.

  To my children: Preston, Jamel, Jaye, Kayla, and Kendall, my heart beats in love. I love all of you and push myself to the level that I do because of you.

  Darryl, the love of my life, thank you for being who you are and loving me the way that you do. Especially for allowing me to drive you crazy. But most importantly, for always talking me off of the ledge. I love you to the moon and back.

  To my mommy, Michelle Raysor, thank you for being such a great example of strength and for making me the woman that I am today.

  I have to thank Kendra Reeves, my sistafriend. We started this literary journey together five years ago and have become the best of friends and pen sisters. I appreciate you for the long talks, writing challenges, and the push to be better. Thank you for being you.

  Diane of Diane’s Literary World, where do I begin? You have been the friend, sister, and encourager since I met you in that bookstore. I cannot thank you enough for being who you are, and I’m excited about this journey that we are on together.

  N’Tyse, my agent, thank you for believing in me and for the opportunities you give me. You continue to push me to levels that I didn’t know I could reach. I appreciate you and this winning team that I am honored to be a part of.

  I have to thank my Region Care coworkers: Reeky, April, Ayoka, Tiffany L., Alexis, Tina, Neteva, Samantha, Terry, Dawnett, Emily, Te’Cheire, Jennifer, Jannifer, Rashme, and the rest of team RC (lol). I appreciate you so much. All of you make me feel like I am on top of the world with your excitement about my novels. I want to give a special thank-you to Towanna Atkinson for sharing and telling everyone about my books. I appreciate you so much. Tie, Johnny, Christine, aka Corn (lol), and Tiffany P., thank you for allowing me to drive you crazy with my ideas. I appreciate and love every one of you.

  To my family and friends, thank you for believing in me and for all of your love and support.

  PART ONE

  In the Midst of It All . . .

  Prologue

  God, it’s not supposed to be like this. I know I’ve made mistakes in my past, and you’ve forgiven me for them. But yet, I feel as if I am still paying for them, Naomi-Ruth mourned silently.

  The rain spattering against the windowpane matched the tears trailing down Naomi-Ruth’s face. Wishing for the calm of a peaceful night, she wanted to escape the present. She turned her thoughts inward, looking for memories that could give her peace. But tranquility could not find her.

  Once inside her powder room, anxiety threatened to consume her. The area was usually transformed into the setting where she meditated and sought to reach nirvana, but now, that same space was unfamiliar and unwelcoming. Naomi-Ruth’s heart was racing at an alarming rate as her stomach churned. Rubbing her sweaty palms together, she glanced in the mirror—and became blindsided by the reflection staring back at her. The image was unrecognizable and yet, so familiar. She looked as tired as she felt. Her disheveled hair, along with the dark circles beneath her blazing, golden eyes, took her by surprise.

  “What happened to me? Where did I go? How did I get back here?”

  Tears masked her peanut butter complexion, forcing Naomi-Ruth to reflect on everything that had transpired.

  “At this point in my life, there’s no reason to cry over what would’ve, could’ve, or should’ve happened. I have to face the music,” she concluded.

  Taking in a deep breath, Naomi-Ruth put down the test Dez left for her on her vanity when she diagnosed her. Hesitantly, she picked it up again and opened the box. Her heart was racing, and she was slightly nauseated. With trembling hands, she administered the test. Tears welled up in her eyes. Seconds seemed like hours as she waited. She could feel the nerves as she absentmindedly bit her nails. Unable to be still, she walked back and forth, and without notice, panic struck as the indicator changed to positive.

  “N-no! H-how?” she croaked. Naomi-Ruth expected the words that slipped from her lips to be a whisper, but they resounded like a reverberation throughout her master bath.

  “Ruth, are you all right? Please, unlock the door,” Dexter pleaded from the other side of the door.

  As Naomi-Ruth watched, her hands struggled to open the door. Dexter was already pushing his way inside. She instantly became speechless as their eyes met. Confused by how he got inside the house crossed her mind, but she brushed it off, assuming she’d left the door unlocked. Her heart was hammerin
g painfully in her chest as her breathing went from quick to next to nothing at all. In her state of numbness, the pregnancy test dropped from her hand as she bolted past Dexter, almost knocking him off balance.

  Chapter One

  Let’s Get Married . . .

  “The essence of God has penetrated the atmosphere. Deliverance is here. If you have an infirmity, a lack, or whatever, give God the praise. Praise your way through and out. He is here. Give Him honor,” Pastor Lewis encouraged the flock.

  The tone of the temple changed. The blessings of the Divine Spirit had permeated the parish, and they took off in praise.

  Rising to his feet, basking in the aura, Pastor Lewis made his way down the three steps that led to the podium over to Naomi-Ruth, handing the mic to her without enunciating a sound.

  Promptly as her palms caressed the mic, Naomi-Ruth sang. From the depths of her heart, the song grew and swelled, and you could understand every phrase drifting from her bee-stung lips. There was a precious anointing in the temple. He is here! He is here!

  For a moment, Naomi-Ruth and the crowd were one. Her trouble was their trouble, and her joy was their joy. A slow, rolling crescendo strengthened. It spread quicker, more bountiful, and louder . . . until it plunged into the hearts of those accepting, gripping them in its rhythm.

  The sounds from the hymn chanted to Naomi-Ruth’s hidden grief, prohibiting her from delivering another note. She used her free hand to erase the tears from her coffee-hued eyes before returning the mic to Pastor Lewis.

  As the parishioners and Naomi-Ruth gathered themselves and took their posts, Pastor Lewis hummed.

  “The Spirit has stretched through this place. The Lord brought a great Word through an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. Did you receive it this morning?”

  “Yes, He did. God showed up and out. Amen, Pastor,” the saints chimed in.

  “I will not preach behind that, but I want to leave you with a few scriptures. Sister Naomi-Ruth, please take the other mic and read a few verses of scripture for me.”

  Acknowledging his request by nodding her head in agreement, Naomi-Ruth made her way to the choir stand to fetch the other mic.

  “Please turn your Bibles with me to Matthew 25:10, Luke 14:8, and Revelation 19:7, and I assure you, I won’t be before you too long.”

  “Matthew 25:10 says, ‘And while they . . . the bridegroom. . . to the marriage.’ Luke 14:8, ‘When . . . any man to a wedding . . . thou be bidden of him,’ and Revelation19:7‘. . . wedding of the Lamb has co—’”

  “Stop right there,” Pastor Lewis interrupted, making his way closer to where Naomi-Ruth sat. “What’s the key word that sticks out for you, Sister Naomi-Ruth?”

  Dropping her head down to search the passages of scriptures without realizing she was still speaking into the microphone, Naomi-Ruth mumbled under her breath, “Marriage or wedding. I have no idea.”

  As the congregation erupted in laughter, Naomi-Ruth lifted her head and was instantly blinded by the tears flooding her eyes. Witnessing Pastor Lewis on bended knee in front of her with a 14-caret white gold engagement ring caught her by surprise.

  Naomi-Ruth’s thoughts instantly consumed her without notice. She could not believe what was taking place right before her very eyes. They’d been seeing each other for a few months now, but their relationship was nothing serious enough to hint at or merit a marriage proposal. All of their outings had been group gatherings or get-togethers. Pastor Lewis and Naomi-Ruth barely spent any time alone. If and when there was a need to be paired up on teams, they’d be sure to partner up. Other than that, they’d only shared a few innocent episodes of flirting via text messaging. Nothing had ever signaled or hinted that he was in love with her, or he wanted anything remotely close to marriage.

  Pausing for a long moment, and then adding, more hesitantly, “Are you sure this is what you want, Pastor?”

  “Naomi-Ruth, I am certain God handpicked and hand-crafted you for me. It simply took one glimpse into your brown eyes for me to see your soul and know you were all mine. Your passion for God is infectious. My heart becomes tender, and I feel like a great king when you are near me or directly in my presence. And that pure, heavenly voice of yours shoots chills up my spine and bliss to my soul. So, to answer your question, yes, I am sure my life would be complete if you would take me into your heart and grant me the honor of becoming First Lady Lewis.”

  Sinking into a kneeling position in front of him, Naomi-Ruth reached for his hands. As their palms joined, her tears burst forth like a flood from a dam, pouring down her face. Like a young child, her chin quivered as she responded, “Yes, I will marry you, Pastor. Yes, I will marry you.”

  The observers instantly chatted.

  Naomi-Ruth recognized the tears threatening to overflow from his eyes. As he cradled her in his arms, tides of tears broke loose and poured faster than his pulse.

  “There isn’t a dry eye in this place, but we have a wedding to get ready for,” Mother Diane Lewis informed everyone through fresh tears as she broke their embrace.

  “N-now . . . Now?” Naomi-Ruth’s eyes expanded.

  “Yes, baby. It is better to wed than to burn with passion. And from that display between the two of you, the love and affection you two have for each other are clear. No worries. We will get you together so you can make my grandson an even happier man.”

  With her heart pounding like a thousand drums of adrenaline surging through her frame, Naomi-Ruth followed Mother Diane and two of her assistants. Naomi-Ruth’s dear friend, Desirae, walked alongside her, glaring at her in a puzzled way. Without expressing a word, their eyes talked for them. Desirae didn’t agree with the impromptu marriage, as she has always felt Pastor Lewis was very controlling. However, she identified that Naomi-Ruth’s dream from youth had been to marry a preacher.

  “Give us a moment to run back upstairs and get things situated. Sister Desirae, please help this baby get into this dress and fix her face because she done cried herself into a raccoon,” Sister Lewis directed, pointing to the soft white, off-the-shoulder, lace, floor-length wedding gown embellished with beads hanging on the door of the pastor’s study.

  “Take it easy, Mother Diane. You need not be doing any running,” Desirae diverted.

  Taking a step toward the door, gripping her walking stick, she threw over her shoulder, “I’m going to use wisdom and take the elevator up, baby.”

  Feeling paralyzed, Naomi-Ruth stood with a mixed expression of dazed confusion and amazement on her face.

  “You don’t have to do this, Nomi. If he loves you and feels you’re supposed to be his wife, he can wait and do it right,” Desirae snapped, facing her.

  “Y-you . . . You didn’t help with this?”

  “I had no idea.”

  “But the wedding dress—”

  “Yes, I will agree, the dress is gorgeous, and from the looks of it, it’s a perfect fit, but I had nothing to do with this. I was blindsided right along with you.”

  “Blindsided? Yes, it was a surprise, but I wouldn’t call it blindsided. You don’t understand, Dez.”

  “What is there to understand? He proposed during the service, which was cute and typical for a pastor, but I am not knocking him. Instead of allowing you to experience the joys of planning your wedding, he thought it not robbery to have a dress picked out and wedding ceremony planned? A bit extreme, wouldn’t you say?”

  “Out of all of the women in the church, Dez, he chose me. Can’t you cry, be on edge with me, or just be happy for me? He’s in love with me. Why would I make him wait? I’m all right with this.”

  “Look, I love you like a sister, and I want what’s best for you. I know you are the best thing to happen to him, but you cannot allow things to start off like this. He will end up taking you and your voice from you.”

  “Me and my voice? What are you saying?”

  “He picked out your dress and set a wedding date in place without consulting you at all. Little girls grow up envisioning the perfect we
dding, and you couldn’t even take part in trying to bring part of that to reality. Not for nothing, you two weren’t even dating, for God’s sake. Naomi, you don’t even know what he’s like underneath that garb. Please don’t let him turn you into a yes-person.”

  “I hear you, Dez, but the problem with most marriages in African American households is we’ve become too independent. Women don’t know what it means to be submissive.”

  “Submissive and stupid are two different things.”

  “I don’t want to do this right now, Dez. This is my wedding day, so can you please just be happy for me? Besides, this has to be ordained by God.”

  “I am overjoyed for your engagement, but rushing to get married the same day of your proposal is a bit much for me to swallow. Also, please, keep in mind that God isn’t the author of confusion. Did you even talk to Him about this?” Raising her hand to stop Naomi-Ruth from speaking, she continued. “No, you didn’t. Why? Oh, I will answer that as well. It’s because you didn’t have time to. You, my dear friend, got engaged, and now, you’re getting married within an hour on the same day.” Uncomfortable and feeling a tad bit troubled for her friend, Desirae quickly gathered her wits. “You’re absolutely right, Nomi. This is your day. Although I may not agree with what you’re about to do, let’s try to make the best of it.”

  * * *

  Much to Desirae and Naomi-Ruth’s surprise, the ceremony was elegantly beautiful. It pretty much mirrored the wedding of Naomi-Ruth’s dreams. Each of the pews had white tulle garlands with lighting to accentuate the white rose petals that adorned both sides of the aisle. Towering rose arches with the same tulle and lighting were erected at the beginning and end of the aisle. Desirae struggled to control the influx of tears that stormed her face as she walked hand in hand with her childhood friend down the aisle. Because Naomi-Ruth’s parents were deceased and Desirae was the only living person close to family, she escorted her best friend down the aisle.